laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
