yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
