Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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