the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I need water and some morals
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
