Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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