Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
