Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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