I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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