Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
