whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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