he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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