How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
