Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
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So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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