A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
