girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
