I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
