you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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