you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
