the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
