whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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