P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
