Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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