She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize