Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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