Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
