im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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