Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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