i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just tell him i said nine months
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
