i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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