True but thats because hes a fetus.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
