how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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