If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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