Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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