my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
