We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize