I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That accounts for only three of the penises
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
