p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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