It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
