im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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