Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I forget how to act sober
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
