Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
