dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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