Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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