Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
God, I missed his penis.
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