if you like me you must not know who I am
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
