They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
