So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
