So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
