Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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