I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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