I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Oh god it's open bar.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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