Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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