is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize