Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
