Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize