I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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